Smoked a bowl on a rollercoaster. Literally ON. Beat that.
The only reason I kept his number in my phone for so long is so that hed pay for my abortion.
all i wanted to do was something grown up. like go to applebees and drink.
They turned the water off again. Brushed my teeth with whats left from those pitchers of mojitos. So hung over i dont even care.
Also. This Ativan makes me feel fearless. I think we need an exciting new hobby for when we take it. How do you feel about ghost hunting?
I'm not saying I would have to be high to sleep with him. I'm just saying it would probably help.
Are you 5:30 blackout again?
I just asked him what would happen if my boobs fought crime. I think I'm cut off.
Remember the time you puked your contact lens out?
He licked the buffalo sauce off my fingers and then we had the best sex of my life.
This bitch goes out driving during the nor'easter to get her ass eaten.. that’s dedication
I am afraid of asking him for his new number so I continue to text the one that's no longer in service.
I've literally slept one hour I'm honestly just surprised you can insult me this early
Pride log, day two. Noticing more bruises and scrapes. Liver functions probably very lowered.
I mean I'm completely serious and also drunk.
What a great combination.
Randomize
