Random 1st period thought: do you think she could put "had a threesome" on her resume?
You don't know the meaning of what the fuck until you wake up naked and alone in someone's bed staring at a dead squirrel on their dresser.
I would give up sex for lent, but I think Jesus would understand that I went too long without it to go back now.
how did he go about obtaining bull sperm?
Found my smoke alarm in a ziploc in my toilet...again
I'm love that we're talking about a possible 3rd 3some, and that you're going to be a dad.
I am significantly less than sober now. Gonna make like, ten hotdogs.
I swear she looks like a sloth.... I'll toss a coin...
A lumberjack bearing the gift of small oranges or gymnast sex... I love you man but you lose that battle 9 out of 10
After getting all 4 of my wisdom teeth removed I asked my dentist how much better would I be at head
it's too much effort for something that isn't food.
I hate him but I love him for what he does which is me
I just woke up and there was a condom wrapper stuck in my hair. This is my life.
Didn't you sleepover at your grandparents?
only you would understand that I was talking from the perspective of my boobs
Sorry you ended up in detox. It's not my fault you decided to walk downtown in only your underwater at 3am. I think the tequila took over.
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