lets start a swedish sibling band together
If tjhis were a lake full of vodka and i were a ducl Id swim my way down and ddrink my way up
Did I at antime last saturday slip away and sign up for a prayer circle?
Currently coming up with judgment, the game. Works well on buses, will probably be more entertaining in bars.
Me and my vagina aren't speaking at the moment.
We're like Siamese twins, but joined at the genitals.
I'm hoping my engineering degree will pay off when I invent porn watching in the shower
I've counted four places at work I need to get laid in. Come help me accomplish this.
Hey, I'm your guy
I just hit your bf in the face with a mustard bottle and the guy at the table next to us bowed down to me.
someone snapchatted me a porn of two guys dressed up as pterodactyls double teaming a girl
I'm just sitting here drunk and eating peas because my life sucks
If I don't singlehandedly make your gf realize she needs to straighten the fuck up or ruin your relationship before I leave I have failed you as a friend.
I have sent texts to the pizza delivery guy telling him he was beautiful. Oh and you almost got a ticket for pissing in public. And I smell like cheese.
I have more important things to worry about than you drowning your cheerios in tequila.
She complained to dominos last night for hanging up on her, and then she wrote "fuck you dominos" on the receipt when we got our pizza
So we are banned from the campus dominos
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