capris are just wrong
its like "what can i possible wear to make myself look short and fat? Oh I know!!"
Bts the comment you were making during that picture was "look we have penises"
You went to church with your boobs hanging out?
Theyr'e a gift from god, I figured I should show him i'm using them well.
yeah, but i heard shes schizophrenic
i wouldn't even care dude, i'd fuck her and all 7 of her personalities.
He was taking the caps off the vodka bottles and throwing them out the window so we'd have to finish them. Engineers have the best logic.
He wanted to put Kesha on after he came in my mouth. I had to draw some sort of trashy, gay line.
We pulled over so he could pee and the next thing I know he's running down the hill by himself with his pants down
Oh wow. Was walking and just saw her in the pool, fully clothed, ranting on an alligator float. I guess i should go get her before security gets here.
I woke up naked in my bathtub at 5:30 this morning. There's legit a spray tan body print of me in the fetal position in my tub.
Drinking vodka and pirating music in the library. Welcome to finals week.
And then you asked me why my legs were so thick and started measuring them with a ruler
I just fully woke up, never smoking that much weed again. I had stress dreams about your house being surrounded by a lake and we kept losing our cars in it.
turns out putting a tie on my unicorn onesie didn't make it acceptable "formal wear" and I found salsa in my cup holder
I just want to nap and funnel a bottle of wine in a cute dress
It's OK, I woke up in a drag queen's bed last weekend. It took me forever to get the glitter out of my cleavage.
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