3 st and 6 ave. One dollar pitchers. Look out world.
I just lost $50 at the races, got drunk, and woke up to my ex-gf. Apparently the good decisions kept on rolling...
A relator touring our house this week saw the picture in our bathroom of steven passed out, yellow faced, with BALLS on his forehead, and had to ask "if that kid was alive or dead".
You tried to tip the paramedic for finding you.
oh great, iTunes now thinks im gay.
Oh, I'm sorry. I'd rather be "doable" than "the fat chick"
He was so drunk he was throwing the bowling balls into other lanes on purpose. He still beat my high score thought.
Dude you're alone at a bar with a woman, and you're talking about my junk?
Alls I remember is making out with that chick.
Nope that was a dude
He wouldn't let me ride him with a Ninja Turtles hat on...
They kept barging in on us saying random shit. At one point they came in yelling room service! and threw soda at us bruising my foot. Weirdest injury I have gotten during sex.
No biggie, just trying to keep my liver function in the green
carb up bitch. we're drinking with football players.
I want your cock. I also want to cuddle you and tell you how amazing you are, because you know balance.
It's not a hangover, it's "slept on a couch with another person and said person moves a lot and is loud"
Randomize
