we screwed to my bar mtzvah tape, I became a man while watching myself becom a man
I gained confidence after I found out she was a lesbian. At least that way I could flirt with her and convince her to buy me taco bell after the bar
someone made her a trophy at 4 in the morning and presented it to her in the bathtub
Yeaaah. I'm kinda wary about that guy. Does he still have that taser that he found on the train?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
No. And Marissa said shitting in the handicap bathroom at work does not get you into the club. You have to shit yourself. She said.
I cannot believe he got soft mid fuck. I just hope he bought that horrible impression you did of my dad. I love you though, you came in clutch tonight.
It was the least I could do after throwing up in your purse.
He's upstairs shouting 'FUCK OFF I'M IN MY MOTHERFUCKING ZEN ZONE' out of the window.
I don't even know man. I was to busy having beer showered on me and grabbing some balls
LOOK AT MY ASS AND LEGS IN THIS SKIRT. I KNOW ALL THE BEST HIDING SPOTS IN THIS BUILDING. AND I OFFER TEQUILA.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Her tramp stamp said call me maybe. You should have run for the nearest decontamination shower immediately.
for once I'd like a one night stand where I don't meet the guys mom or wife in the morning
Drink. Fuck. Waffle House. Repeat.
I think I was just motorboated by a 4-year old girl.
All I'm saying is there better be a bow on your dick for my birthday
You know you have an interesting job when you go to work and have to Google search "How to get poop out of a dryer".
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