I need to buy a mesh tank top to fit in in Florida. Where do they even sell that shit?
I have a pussy blister if you wanna poke at it with a needle tomorrow...by this text i realize just how strange our relationship is, especially because you're probably excited
I think you mean your blister is filled with pus...atleast i hope
there were no ball for pong so he bought cat toys..... they had bells in them
What a whore. She reminds me of that asian guy who can eat all the hotdogs.
And dildos are 35% off. So. Ya know. Savings.
Is it socially acceptable to stop at the strip club for the lunch buffet on my way to the airport?
Well we were going to compare notes, but all I could remember was throwing up, and all she could remember was kissing, so then we decided to not compare anything.
You're lucky you got out when you did, about an hour later the girl in the Franzia box started wrestling everyone.
I also love my swipe to text changed a singular vagina to a plural vaginas. like my phone somehow knows I secretly want 2 vaginas
YOU GAVE HIM A BLOWJOB ON YOUR DOORSTEP?!
I just fist bumped God in my head for last night. What a bro.
it was one of those unspoken contracts of silence like "I teach your daughter and you work at a strip club"...I don't tell if you don't
I'm sorry I called your mother a reasonably-priced receptacle.
You know I base where I go on the likelihood of me getting laid there. This includes work.
i can eat my weight in tater tots. don't test me, bitch
Randomize
