please quote me on this- the only thing worse than being ugly is being ugly and thinking that you're pretty
What happened last night?
You soiled yourself again and told everybody that you'd given birth.
I think its only fitting my first purchase with my student loan is a glass pipe? I think ill name it 'Subsidized'
you dipped you banana in queso last night.
Some rando is vomiting profusely into the garden outside the employee entrance. Where are you when things like this happen to me?
Vomiting outside the employee entrance
Is this a genuine concern or are you just high?
JUST BECAUSE I'M HIGH DOESN'T MEAN ITS NOT GENUINE CONCERN.
The cabbie told us to at least pretend we weren't doing coke while he was driving
Well my sources tell me she just happens to appear in an episode girls gone wild.
I know someone that will spend hours looking for her. He also has many of said movies. And I will do it for free!
and then i signed some dudes back with a turkey hand print in honor of thanksgiving
I'm drunk from drinking bourbon out of a "cupcake sippy cup" at the Denny's bar. What the fuck happened to the goals I had?
Apparently it's not a "bonding moment" when you realize you use the same porn site as your boyfriend
I don't think anything is more terrifying than the thought that you might shit your pants in front of your boss
I just watched my high school guidance counselor pee in the backyard of this party.
My ex just brought my grandpa weed. Not sure how I feel about this.
I shouldn't be allowed to be in america for NYE... or any major holiday for that matter
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