i think i just puked on my phone
we live great lives
she just put all the cheese in the refrig to sleep.. and yes we did finish you bottle.
Hawaiian shirts and no dignity
We are always on the same wavelength...kinda eerie.
im pretty sure i just dented her unborn child.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i think there mostly mad about the fact it was 6 pm not the fact i blew a .255
So my date night ended with us watching porn with his roommate.
Just saw a cop give four blondes gas for their car on their way to Vegas. They seriously ran out of gas and called 911 about it. Its like a porno plot.
Circumcision scars are like fingerprints. I think I'm on to something man.
One good thing out of all this is her ass is huge. Like Australia Big.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You know how I said I'd never worry about my roommate? Well I just walked in on her masturbating to Star Trek.
Did she boldly cum where no one has cum before?
He took my virginity but also my remaining pizza. i dont know how to feel right now.
You seriously don't remember crying about how much you miss your mom right before we hooked up?
I spent three hours in the ER last night to figure out that my friend just had to take a shit
I vote we just hike, drink, and destroy dick
I mean that was the nicest way to be dumped by some one I wasn't dating.
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