Dude im not sure whos apartment i woke up in but i just showered here and their shampoo in phenomenal
Tis a story best told in person, it involves a golf course, police and vomit
It usually does with you
If he starts "inventing" things cut him off. The last thing he invented was chocolate chip green beans and he destroyed my kitchen
If a Romanian girl's marriage isn't considered legal in the US then she's fair game right?
do you think a sharp knife would stab through a cheese suit?
I haven't filled him in on Operation "find a sugar daddy & suck dick for money" yet, but I'm sure he just wants me to be happy.
Yep. My memoirs will be called "A Slore Worth Mentioning"
By the way, anytime you want to go toe to toe on Doggystyle lyrics just let me know!
Who is this? Did we just become best friends?!
God dammit. My lube leaked all over my passport
We just catapulted a jelly bean off of his hard dick into his mouth.......Happy Easter!
pizza hut and my weed lady just showed up at the same time. I feel 22 again.
I'm driving to his house to eat chicken and hopefully have an orgasm
I'll never lecture you, go get that dick baby girl make momma proud,I didn't raise no quitter
just had an acid flashback in my therapist's office. i am a walking stereotype
Mom just walked in on a bj. IT'S WHATEVER.
Randomize
