So, someone in Olympia stole my credit card # last week and bought a platypus vibrator with it. That’s it.
She played chubby bunny with our cocks.. She got 4
I swear to god he's a one man village people.
Just had a heart to heart with my John Belushi poster.
I'm petty sure you said "hold on let me make my nipples hard, they look better"
So I saw her today...and it was weird...she is just like not pregnant anymore.
Dude...how high are you? of course she isnt pregnant anymore...thats what happens when you give birth
That's the 3rd time I've gone home with her and she passed out on me. I poured 6 boxes of cereal on her and left
just woke up and currently drinking copious amounts of eggnog straight from the carton to replenish the electrolytes lost last night
Just realized I'm still chewing the same gum post blow job. This Stride shit really has everlasting flavor. They should totally have an ad campaign based on blow jobs.
I think I heard my penis growl. Wanna do lunch?
I'm sorry I called your mother a reasonably-priced receptacle.
Well I got black out drunk before the rehearsal dinner and berated my family with insults. But other then that it was a good time
Party bus got out of hand. Some guy pissed himself. Later, he couldn't find his house keys, so he kicked the back door in.
sex on a bike is impossible
challenge accepted
The guy I slept with in AZ just called and is moving here next week.
Randomize
