I was debating whether her purse was real then I saw her puke in it.
i found a twelve pack under my bed. and a six pack in my closet. I'm like a fucking alcoholic squirrel.
Somehow I don't trust you in this state to talk to you about a colonoscopy
just had to explain to the health center why i wanted 50 condoms a month.
He added me on Facebook. I'm pretty sure he got my name from the inside of the bra I had lost in the frat house.
I made him recite stats from the playoffs game last night before I would go down on him.
He said he was going to "rock my world". I wonder if he too has a false sense of confidence and accomplishment stemming from a complete lack of honesty from our own female counterparts.
1 be hot 2 flirt with everyone 3 use hotness to make people do things for you. It's a simple model.
By the end of the night I was using him as a leg rest and he was handing me pizza rolls when I wiggled my hand. It's a proven method.
Tell me you didn't really piss in the hookah.
So neither of us had a dollar bill and we couldnt find a straw so we spent all nite doing coke through penne pasta
as he was bent over the toilet, he turned to me and said "barbarian kyle is much stronger than regular kyle" and then went right back to puking.
Hey, I'm 22. I'm allowed to have a sex life and you're going to hear about it.
I must be pretty memorable. I was walking past this dude and he goes "There's the Scotch Girl." I have ZERO clue who he is, but I'm definitely the Scotch Girl.
Would you say that skipping class and sitting alone in my room singing One Direction to myself and sobbing is an acceptable way to deal with the break-up
If you really hate him do what I do: give him an amazing night of unforgettable sex then dump him. You’ll ruin sex for him because new girls won’t compare
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