Amandyke just told me shes gonna make my tongue her cum rag. i'm borderline terrified
He was sucking on my finger.... and it was at that moment that I thought: Man. I wish I had a penis.
There is no way he is gay with that hair.
how do you wash the taste of whore out of your mouth?
While we were having sex he told me "this is what you get for not parking my car right" I have never drove his car. He was that kind of weird.
going to class with no bra.. is that saying "i don't give a fuck i'm one hour away from thanksgiving break?"
He just called me juicy booty via text message.
This is your morning news. Today at 5 pm I will be going out of town until the 29th. If you would like some great sex before I leave, please contact me. The available packages are: a house call, an outdoor excursion, or a delivery style in-car quickie. available only while supplies last.
Almost to work. And still feel hungover. Like my body is trying to regenerate after dying. Full on zombie shit. But like, one of those zombies from warm bodies that comes back to life slowly.
Got back to find Sarah in her underwear eating peanut butter and watching Arrested Development with the thermostat at eighty.
Guess who's the proud owner of her very own foxtail butt plug!!
It's wednesday. OF COURSE HE'S DRUNK.
If they start to date again I refuse to help her sext him. Helping my mom sext my dad is where I draw the line.
Spent like 2 minutes so far learning and 35 minutes in a group chat talking about big asses. Yet another Wed zoom meeting.
OH DEAR GOD IT GOT IN MY MOUTH AGAIN HELP
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