Dude im not sure whos apartment i woke up in but i just showered here and their shampoo in phenomenal
everytime she opens her mouth i wish that i was deaf
It was like good, clean fun, but with bodyshots.
The cute guy in my class hurt himself and is on crutches. My first thought was "Good. He'll be easier to take down." Like he's a gazelle and I'm a dick tiger. What's wrong with me?
Now if u will excuse me I have to go prep my vagina for this amazing sex filled weekend I'm about to encounter
Do you remember using the vicegrip to demonstrate how wide your penis is?
I had sex with marker all over my face so I can do just about anything.
Virginity is like the pottery barn-you break it, you bought it.
Thanks....I've always wanted my vagina compared to an overpriced coffee table
I just spent a solid 3 minutes trying to figure out how to send a smell through my phone
I used my iced coffee to ice the bump on my head from last night
Gays age differently than straights. 29 is like 45 in gay years. Next year I'll be in adult diapers and applying for medicaid.
I feel like we need to find him and explain that if the two of them would just fuck he'd understand.
but if we have a President Trump come Tuesday, I might throw myself off the Walt Whitman Bridge so Thursday might not work for me after all.
Jello shots? I thought you weren't drinking tonight.
Im not drinking im slurping
So, is Canada considered an excessive distance to go for a booty call? Asking for a friend...
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