Sry I called you an 8
do you think I can still get an erection if I donate blood today? this is important.
You know were out to late when I call my hook up at 8:08pm and 8:08am in the same night.
DUDE, DID YOU KNOW YOU CAN JUST RENT AN ELEPHANT???
Oh God.
Im wearing all my glow sticks to bed so i know where my arms are at all times.
P.S. I just watched The Muppets. I feel like I just got a sadness enema.
Hahahahaha. That's what your stoned ass gets for eating half a bag of processed cheese at 2am.
I ended up in bed with a man from London in a sorority wing I am not apart of. Tequila fucks you up
It was big, black, and had a smiley face tattooed on it. It was the perfect penis.
Ever since the Christmas fiasco of '08, I can no longer watch Rudolf the Red nosed reindeer without getting a hard on
As I was puking, these 2 guys started peeing next to me chanting me on
He started making out with my boobs. I didn't know whether to be proud of my boobs or ashamed of my mouth.
Nothing says "i love you" more than flowers and potatoes
Last 4 google searches: class c felony, scary ghosts, peanut butter jelly time, Lindsey lohans vagina
The room got awkwardly silent right as i yelled "leave him alone! I know plenty of straight guys who like to suck dick!"
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