So I finally got the Patron washed off my boobs.
the only reason I knew his name is because half way through I looked up and it was tatooed on his chest.
you told me to make out with him to promote the social success of the sorority
He's prob getting laid right now and I'm sitting alone in my duct tape shoes.
Heating the house with the oven may not be safe but at least it's always preheated
i got shots of sambuca dumped on my head last night. my bag still smells like licorice. making me nauseous.
it is a nice little reminder of the bruins dominance. if Vancouver had won, it would somehow smell of maple syrup.
Chicken salad taco, you know, when you're out of bread and crackers, and high.
I know and I love you for your valets putting your thong on your seat
That is an awkward looking cockshot, not gonna lie
The EMT told me when I left the ER "I'd like to take off your pants again and inspect your package. Just not during a medical emergency..." We're hooking up tonight.
Points for getting a hot hook up after getting a shard of glass in your thigh. Almost makes it worth it.
Well ill be drunk so just come find me. Its like where in the world is Joey San Diego
Give me a minute. I'm trying to buy moonshine from a railroad worker named "Cowboy."
just woke up. hair smells like weed and bbq. shins are bruised. vague memory of us chasing deer at the park at 3 am. fill me in on what exactly happened.
he brings me coffee and gets a blow job. not sure if I trained him or he trained me or it's simply mutually beneficial beautiful.
Good morning! Or after noon. Sorry for falling asleep in you
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