I hope mine doesn't look like that
We did it and he fell asleep and I was bored so I decided to go back to the party...is that bad?
just got super drunk mixing jägermeister with my lyme disease meds. even if my face goes paralyzed, at least i got smashed from it.
Finally considering to keep my landing strip before I have sex.. I feel like It makes me look mature.
I decided that Calgary can keep my underwear. They earned it.
I'm not wearing underwear, I started my period this morning, and it's super windy. Recipe for disaster?
Finished my senior thesis. How am I celebrating you ask? By drinking gas station white zif out of an empty candle holder by myself. I fucking deserve to graduate.
He's like a fucking cake pop, the greatest thing in the world while it lasts, but it never lasts for long enough
I expected better sex from someone with the word CHAOS tattooed above his dick. But on the bright side, he was down to watch a documentary on Honey Badgers afterwards so I guess I'll keep him around.
also. got fucked to usher last night. dunno if thats a new high or a new low
Was it at least a good usher song?
The sorting hat of life was not kind to you.....
I just found a bag of chex mix in my clutch
You were feeding it to the bartender last night
just turned another straight guy gay. Goddamn the church must hate me
Lol, perhaps. But the drinks are so cheap, the music is better, and the bartenders and bouncers all know my name. I can't abandon it, even if it is a gay bar, its still my Nirvana.
Why do so many fanfic writers want to see hockey players get pregnant?
Randomize
