he got promoted. that means i have now given my new boss chlaymida. i need a new job.
Thank you blackberry messenger, for giving me a way to sext faster and more efficiently
Is your answer to that text seriously a right parenthesis
I wish they'd wear their tampons on the outside. At least gimme some warning
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Highlight of the week: I had sex with a B movie star wearing an eye patch.
That's not your dick yours is smaller. Nice try.
Wait why do you have a pic of someone else's dick in your phone?
The wizard has you scheduled for a 6am sex breakfast
I'm so there
Lmfao. We asked what you wanted to eat and you said vagina. I don't care what kind. Fresh, barbecue, roasted on a camp fire. I just want it on my taste buds.
looked up people from my old yearbooks. 3 ex boyfriends are gay. im getting drunk now.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I sent a picture of my balls to one of my best friends, so basically it was an average night.
she was puking nonstop out of the car window in the rain during our hour long drive back, we got lot of honks
You fell asleep standing up against the shower wall
For a girl who cried from fear the last time she was asked out, this. Is. TERRIFYING!
I told him I hooked up with his best friend. And then he ate me out. I'm just THAT GOOD.
At least I’m an “essential employee” and can still bang my boss. \n\nFingers crossed my husband doesn’t ask why I’m essential, the orgasms are too good to give up during this pandemic
Randomize