I looked at my arm when I woke up..I guess after 8 tally marks I said fuck it and wrote "too much"
He kept saying 'your mouth is Amazing' even after I was on his dick.
I'm really proud of her, she waited until she was on tiled floor to start puking on the ground
omg I just had an epiphany about why I grew into such a whore....
HAVE YOU EVER NOTICED WHAT THE SPICE GIRLS USED TO WEAR?!? those were my idols, I never stood a chance
She licked EVERYTHING then yelled at me in Spanish. I just kept saying SI.
This is what we get for YOLOing our way to obesity
My condoms might be a little big for you but hey, a big sweater is better than no sweater at all when it's cold right?
It looks like a baby bear tried to chew off my nipples.
well considering the guy who just delivered my cookies had to console me as i had a mental breakdown in front of him i'd say i'm 4/10 right now, thank you
Just broke my no shot rule again.. Made out with a stranger. That's 0 for 3 this month for the record
I had a spiritual reading tonight and my dead grandmother called me a whore.
My vagina feels like a chupacabra ripped me apart using its mythological set of needle pointed teeth
easy for you to say. you're not the one who has to explain why you woke up with a pineapple and a used condom.
Look fucker, my sensibility and attention to detail is the ONLY REASON you're not dead now
I don't want too, lol. I'm currently awaiting my next period like its the second coming of christ
Randomize
