chasing schnapps with beer is a terrible idea. never been drunk at 3PM before. please help please please please please
Whats a good hint for stop bitching im gonna give you head
triple team girl just facebook chatted me. do i tell her i had a nice time?
Im embracing the luau theme and maybe bringing a kiddie pool filled with alcohol. Im also embracing the high probability I will not remember this night.
I didn't scare your mother by showing up on the roof, did I?
Apparently my downstairs neighbors don't much appreciate it when I do drunk aerobics at 3am on a Wednesday...
Also they do not have any come back to america, i miss my fuck buddy cards at Hallmark.
Pack light, we're going straight to bar from the train. No place to put our shit.
Dude all I'm bringing is my dick and a phone charger.
I remember because you made a pirate noise when you came.
I sliced my fucking arm open last night after margarita madness and had to drive myself to the ER. Got six stitches and a social worker came in and asked if I was abused due to my sex bruises. I literally had to tell her "don't worry, I like it rough"
Until you can top getting paid to have women tell you to check out their ass, my job will remain better than yours
Well I'm glad your Saturday night went a lot better than mine. I spent mine crying in a McDonald's parking lot.
I love him about as much as I'd love fucking myself with a cactus.
He was a foot taller than me and my hands were bigger than his, it's called Pity head
I would like you to know, a bag of cheese cubes just attacked me at work.
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