He saved me in his phone as Easy Jen. Should I be offended?
I wouldn't worry about it. He has me as "Sex Puppet."
Note to Self: No matter how horny, turned on or in the moment you are, never go down on your gf after she had soccer practice.
I'm driving behind a lime green VW that has "Seniors '10!" shoe polished on the rear window. i haven't even seen her yet, but I do have a boner.
I just snuked. Sneezed and puked
come over i need a lifeguard for my shower
There is literally a guy in my class with a gallon of water and a trophy.
Sooo just headbutted a stripper, meet you outside
Being at this stripclub only reinforces how single I am. And I was *just* becoming okay with that.
Her vagina was like a painting you can put your face in.
I have a present for you
Like a legit gift, not just me showing up and getting naked
Lesson learned. Don't roleplay with a real knife.
Are ropes allowed in during conjugals?
Between his smile and monumental dick even the virgin mary woulda blown that man and I am far from the virgin. I didn't stand a chance.
she said she doesn't remember seeing me at all last night. ...I was with her for six hours, there's no way she could have been blackout the whole time
i am currently wearing a bowl of frosting on my head. i do not regret any of my life choices leading to this moment
Randomize
