i've never been more proud of someone than i was when he told me he got his first blowjob at age 13...from two chicks
yeah my mom told me she knows when i come home high because i use my turn signal while turning into the driveway...
i can't believe i brushed your teeth last night. so drunk.
he said that he wanted to outsmoke the rain, I don't know what that means but I'm gonna go help him
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She gave me a foot massage while her friend rode me. Your gf puked into the oscolating fan. How were our nites alike?
just threw up what i'm pretty sure look like contents of a lava lamp
I have 4 passes to the spa here, walking around with a robe on and putting cucumber slices on my penis. You guys should come hang out here. It's very relaxing
My phone broke again .... im not really sure how im going 2 explain the teeth marks to the ppl at the Verizon store
Also there's a home game tomorrow and I thought about holding up a sign that says, "I madeout with #64 during orientation week" would that be inappropriate??
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I assume you passed out however I'm drinking jäger and beer in bed with my cat so your friendship world have been appreciated
She wanted me to stick my dick in the birthday cake she got me
He makes bad life choices and drives a wagon, how is that not my type?
A drunk frat boy just jumped on the hood of my car while I was driving down Bridge St. He yelled at me to keep going since he was playing frogger and needed another car to jump on... or a log. I hate this town.
I just saw a guy faceplant off a unicycle while holding a saxophone, while his buddy riding another unicycle and sporting a flute rode by laughing
Only at UConn...
She then told me, and I quote "I want to send you nudes just to see how you'd react."
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