The drink u got me is pineapple something w. Cigarete ashes in it.ima drink it anyway
Well, McDonalds 'escorted' me out after I passed out mid-order
Get everyone out of their dorms and watch 3 girls do the walk of shame from my room.
Well I tried to steal a golf cart. I fought with the Chick-Fil-A cow. And other things.
It sounds like heaven mixed with world peace and orgasms. The acoustics in this car are awesome. Or it's the weed idk either way it's great
I swear with his long flowing hair and god-like body he looked like Jesus, a bong hitting Jesus
Haha yeah my head's fine..sorry about the dent in your fridge.
That's some primal shit right there. My vagina is all like CONSUME HIM AND HIS FRUIT HE WILL GIVE YOU SONS!
Haha its fine we ask know it. He's still cool thought
Focus on the keyboard man. Focusssss
I need to quit being a slut. It's to the point that I got my period today and automatically I Believe I Can Fly popped into my head.
This time tomorrow I'll be fingering you
Oh shit a waiter was leaning over me when i opened that and i felt him pause
All the drunken hookups over the last year are self destructing, at least something is keeping nursing school interesting
Woke up in the hospital naked with my id's taped to my chest. Also apparently puked on two guys, two girls and an escalade (at the same time). Good night.
I just brought her a lipstick taser. So just remember that the next time you get smart with her
I'm sorry I get my lefts and rights confused because I'm dyslexic. But, it took you at least 15 minutes to figure out it wasn't your room OR YOUR HUSBAND.
Randomize
