The child next door sounds like he's having vigorous sex in the backyard and it's making me very, very uncomfortable. I don't want to look.
Just washed my feet between classes in the bathroom...Four girls totally judged me...
i called her out for picking her nose in public and he still wonders why i don't like her!
I need to stop making out with boys in plain view of half my class.
He looked like Harry Potter. I had to do it.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm talking like I woke up and her bra was spinning around caught on my ceiling fan
So basically our separate showers turned into one shower, to save water, which turned into a bath, which turned into sex on the bed, which turned into drinking beer in the bed, and thats what the stain is from... bud light. sorry.
Now go wash the fat girl off your hands.
After he came all he could say was how great the lighting fixtures where in my apartment.
1. Sorry about making it snow. 2. If it left a mess, I will be over to clean it. 3. Can that fire extinguisher still be used? If not, I'll buy a new one. 4. I just wanted to make it snow!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just had to buy plan b w/ my robotic baby from family living.. Awkward.
This hickey is now green and covers half my neck. I have an alien hickey. I think he thought my neck was dinner.
I had to help him get his zipper down in front of his dad so he could pee in the bushes. That Is what moonshine does to you.
Was asked out on a date tonight on Linked In. That creepy genius at apple that touched my butt one time in the back stairwell. I thinks it's fair to say I've hit rock bottom.
I can now say I know getting hit in the face with a flying tortilla is not fun
can we drink soon
I'm not sure who this is but I'm free tomorrow night
Randomize