im letting my talent of no gag reflex go to waste
for on dont try to tell me you love me after three weeks of talking, for two if you are going to do that stay away from the song lyrics to a very good country song that you happened to ruin by using it, and for three erase my number im fuckin your sister now
he suggested i make a website called "cum on molly's face", to "start off my acting career"
You all can go fuck yourselves. As far as I'm concerned, don't come back to karaoke.
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My vagina has become a graveyard for my brother's friendships...
He probably has his cowboy hat on, that's his house hat.
I legit just said "vaginal access denied" then told him his password hint was "tequila shots"
Seeing your one night stand on campus never gets less awkward. Why is Subway the only good place to eat?
I'm just chillin on the bathroom floor
Haha oh no
The bathroom floor is like my second bedroom on the weekends
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Also, being stuck with my family all week has made it very clear that I need to be drunk and I need to be fucked pronto
i just took a huge shit in old main. i think my college bucketlist is finished.
i regret nothing
brb throwing up in the dishwasher
i regret everything
Is there a tactful way to ask "how are your balls?" Or do I just ask point blank
I have successfully trained your dog to bring me pudding cups!
If you can wrestle my underwear off of me, you can top. It'll be like using an amulet in Legends of the Hidden Temple. Instead of not getting captured, you don't get fucked in the ass.
Randomize