bobby jindal makes me wanna cover my ears. you make me wanna smile.
giving yourself 2 days to recover i see
I'll need it. Largely because i'm going to be stumbling through fancy restaurants with a bottle of whiskey insulting couples all night.
he couldn't find his key, so we just had sex on his parent's porch while we waited for his mom to get home.
there is just no excuse for touching your mothers vagina.
I think I might stay on campus instead of going home for thanksgiving and see how many townies I can hook up with and no one will be around to judge
My goal for tonight: make tomorrow as awkward as humanly possible.
I puked all over his apartment, then slept with the skinniest girl here. Which isn't saying much in Ohio.
Dude she looks like a female richard gere plus 400 pounds.
can I share that I'd like to fuck him in my new car as a sort of car warming present to myself?
My boyfriend's brother just got out of jail and he is already telling us to steal cable. Dude.
Tolerating him while I'm not drunk is like trying to find a word that rhymes with orange
I don't know what you slipped me, but my TV is vomming blood right now. Thanks, jerkoff.
I think I've done enough damage with my vagina as of late, thank you
Umm... When he walked in I shot him with my confetti gun... It's a wonder my booty calls even show up.
I'm her ex, so unless you're interested in her massive moral failings and open season vagina, I'm not your guy.
Randomize
