But i just feel like he will pull it out and ill panic. I mean its fairly basic. Up and down. But i feel like ill just freak out.
As a matter of fact my bong is named Hulkamania brother
He just asked me to come into his empty apartment after he called his parents to make sure they wouldn't come home while I was there. This is starting to look like a bad rape scene from one of those made-for-TV Lifetime movies.
lesson #67 learned in college: a three day old margarita, is still a margarita.
its like whenever the snow comes all the hott girls drop out of school. where are they
Just realized the fur coat I am wearing to the wedding is the one I had sex with the groom in
He managed to scream "cowabunga bitch" before he went down on me. Let me know if you still like him.
My Bio teacher gave me extra marks for putting "deer with AK-47 seeking retribution" at the top of the food chain on my exam. 51% pass here i come!!
And by "schedule" I meant crumbled up liquor store receipt, that I wrote shit on.
AFTER I licked the bald guys head they told me we weren't playing
It was just a Craigslist hook up but she wore sweats. Where are the girls with class?
I think I fucked up my elbow when I tried to fight off the paramedics.
I genuinely attribute some of my blowjob skills to playing saxophone in highschool
After you punched me you ran away and it took an hour to find you... On the wrong floor... Sitting alone saying "it doesnt make sense"
I can't be sure but I think I slept with a clown last night...
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