apparently went to arby's at 2:30am banging on the windows for someone to make me a "beefy"
This is so pathetic it makes me miss snorting lines alone in my room listening to 'one more drink'.
I know you claim to have a large penis but I do not believe in what i cannot see. Sort of like god.
Haha that's why you never name the penis. Its like a pet, once named you will most likely get attached.
I'm not wearing underwear, I started my period this morning, and it's super windy. Recipe for disaster?
He makes me want to shower. It must be love.
The Winnie the Pooh costume was great until you got drunk and started yelling at the kids asking for pictures.
His ass WILL be my cock's next vacation home.
I wish I had a dick so I could say shit like that.
I slapped him but he didn't wake up. He just nuzzled my head, hugged me closer, and smiled.
He better be a good lay, these underwear cost $50.
George Washington did not fight for our freedom just to have people shit themselves all night
I would wear his ballsack as a hat if he asked me to
Being an adult can't be all bad. I just took a vacation day solely to sit around and get stoned
Yeah, oh and the story gets better. His friend was dressed as a christmas tree wrapped in twinkle lights and had to plug himself in the wall all night.
Oh, the accent alone guaranteed a bj. It was when he started drunkenly singing in PERFECT PITCH that I knew I was fucking him.
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