just sold my soul for a pack of cigaroos. little do they know they got the short end of the deal. suckers.
I just won Halloween Walk of Shame Bingo!
after last night, i judge her for not breaking up with me
Someone in my class is wearing shirt and on the back it says...National Bible Quiz Finalist 2006. Do you really expect me to find a guy here
My mom just walked in on me and my girlfriend about to have sex. All she said was "You're lookin like a fool with your pants on the ground.."
using the left over highlighters from the blacklight party to study for finals. feeling the need to write insert penis here on my econ notes.
It was like god placed me in his bed and said," here's your shot girl. Don't mess this up." And I looked at god and laughed in his face.
nope, if she's going to skank it up with ginge-a-saurus douche she deserves the silent treatment.
you were exchanging tortilla chips with the guy at the next table, telling him your table was given the "big chips" because it was your 21st birthday
YOU ARE SO GOD DAMN LOUD AND YOU'RE SHAKING THE GOD DAMN HOUSE. FUCKING STOP.
I just ate beer and cupcakes for breakfast.... maybe this fourth of july won't be so bad
Apparently when the cops arrived I was standing over him in the bathroom yelling, get the fuck up you piece of shit. Beer still in hand.
I just wrote the Drag Queen from Saturday Night on FB and apologized for licking her. Weirdest thing I have ever typed...
Me too...I'm driving to work trying to figure out if I put my pants on the right way.
Please tell me I did not drink enough whiskey to think that having sex with my boyfriend while his best friend was on the floor next to us was a good idea.
Randomize
