She laid down on my bed and played "I want you to want me" on my laptop. subtle.
walkin around the woods blazed, drawing pictures of trees and plants, i get a grade for this
so i just realized i am an alcoholic. I was making some tomato soup because im still sick, and put vodka in it. sad huh? lets go out!
I have a ginormous moral hangover. Strip club blues.
The bridesmaid just threw up on herself. This is going to be the best wedding ever
I want to bury your face in my vagina. Possibly by force. I will try not to suffocate you though.
Normally I would go for him, but there's just way too much vodka under the bridge for that
Please ignore everything I told you about my girlfriends vagina last night.
I'm sorry I peed on your everything.
Do u feel more socially accepted since someone else made up their girlfriend too?
I know. I feel like I should be doing mature responsible adult things though. Like getting loans, working 60 hours every week and not eating burritos in bed, ya know?
Yea it's also hard to turn down a man asking you out with a chicken sandwich.
That moment that random you banged behind the bar is going to be your son's third grade teacher... yup I'm there.
I think I ejaculated my soul out.
They say you need two forms of ID, but in reality 1 nice set of tits works every time
Randomize
