It was ok at first, but now im getting freaked out by him jerking off to me doing yoga
since we're both too lazy to go to each others house, you drink there, i'll drink here and we'll skype. it's the same thing.
The only reason anyone found out he threw up is because everyone heard it sizzle the bonfire out.
Well i'm not entirely sure considering he gave my vagina an early valentine's day card that said "you're purrfect."
Pretty sure even her dog was surprised when I got that blow job.
Does making ice cubes at 4 in the morning count as being productive?
I just want to jump into a ballpool of dicks now.
things I never thought I would say vol. 24 "Bagpipes just remind me that my relationship is over"
I totally almost forgot you fucked that guy. St. Patty's bar crawls always have a drawback.
Would 7 layered rainbow jello shots entice you?
You were upset that she was flirting with your boyfriend so I thought the best game plan was to show her my boobs and get her to make out with me instead. I am the greatest friend on absinthe.
So really what you're asking for is an allowance to not have sex on our futon.
Sometimes I think about the fact that I lost my virginity while watching anime and I wonder what that says about me
I watched Morgan Freeman explain the existence of nothing, now I'm afraid of sub - atomic particles. these egg rolls are outstanding
On the flip side Weston asked if he could move me to Wisconsin to be his "moto hoe" which is actually a thing apparently
You fell asleep while I was sucking your dick
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