The smartest thing I've heard Obama do is call Kayne West a jackass
I saw a girl walking around campus with bandages on both her knees. I need to get her number.
Replacing day drinking with a real job was the worst decision I've ever made.
Dude i thought about you literally the second after I came. This friendship is starting to cross some serious boundaries
I mean... It's a win/win situation. I mentor the kid for an hour and then I get to fuck his mom. I know deep down I'm helping them both
Tomorrow, you will get a text, and it will bE spelled right, that's me yo, certify ya soon
You strapped the bucket of KFC into the carseat and refused to let me drive over 20 miles per hour the whole ride home. That high.
the bar didnt serve shots so jim ordered us jaeger neat. it worked.
Some guy I've never met before just came outside and started rolling a blunt on our fence and passed it around to all six of us. At eight in the morning. Today's gonna be weird.
Best orgasm I ever had! I though we totally connected and I asked him to stay over. He went back to the sigma chi house and returned with his blankie and a 40. please help
You're going to be mad because I got baked, but not that mad because I'm bringing home kfc.
Sexual favors are the only currency recognized by the Republic of Greg
Oh goddamn. That a super downer Tuesday reality right there. Just hit me with the cold, hard, nasty facts.
Firstly: alligator costume is happening anyway. But I'll see what I can do about the balls.
if by making eggnog you mean drinking all the spiced rum, then yes, she's making eggnog
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