my iphone just auto-corrected drink to drnknghhhg...
You look at her and you just know the only action she's gotten is from her tampon..
thanks for stopping by when you did. making a meatball quesadilla while high was a bad choice
He said he wants to make an itinerary for the sex we'll have when I come home.
I've decided, even as much fun as it sounds, I don't care for his sodomy box.
pretty sure if my vagina had a mouth, it would have been smiling afterwards.
your ex girlfriend just barged in my house, drunk, mumbled something about "car strip", and put a huge hole in my drywall with her head.
We are cuddling. She is so cute when she is too high to be a loud bitch.
I said "sucks to suck" to a cop last night. We've been snapchatting.
I'll keep supplying drugs if you teach me piano.
He told me he loved me...but added "you crazy bitch" at the end. Does it still count???
I think I left my bra and my crocs in your room
Is it wrong for me to wish my cat had arms to get me a beer?
Fuck him. He can bang that skeezer all he wants. Fuck her lawyerness I’m a YouTube star
He ate me out in a golf cart while I watched the sunset. You are so right, golf skirts do provide amazing access.
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