I must be too annoying 4 u.
I need ur penis! This is not drunk texting, either! This is I need ur penis texting. There IS a difference!
The doctor put me on 3000 mg of amoxicillin a day. Which, for a sinus infection, seems pretty excessive to me.
Maybe he was just trying to knock out any potential ghonorrhea you might be carrying around.
Ah, my reputation precedes me.
just found deep spiritual meaning in spongebob.... that high.
I'm wayyy too drunk to be in a parade right now
no jill really. Evrything around me is talking to me. The plant, my dog, the tv,the lamp. Its amazing.
the paramedic just looked at me like "you again?"
That's science, my friend. Boner science.
not much just sitting outside his bathroom door naked eating cheetoes. You?
Peeling duct tape off of my dick is definitely one of the stranger sensations that I've experienced.
I am naked in a blanket sprawled on my bed eating a pastry. This is all I want out of life. Ever.
I think my favorite day of the week is the day we get to fuck
I just had a 10 minute staring contest with my dog. Can you come over?
Nothing like a dick pic from your fave ex to make you audibly exhale sadly.
I have dined. Now I want to get fucked.
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