My whole home page is your drunken face booking, congrats.
just took a sink shower in Arbys bathroom
yeah, but i heard shes schizophrenic
i wouldn't even care dude, i'd fuck her and all 7 of her personalities.
its taking every last moral i have not to steal this bike
you still have morals?
Well actually itd just be too hard to ride the bike with this large rake i just stole
im sorry for trying to flush a roll of toilet paper down with my puke. probably not great for your toilet
$200 on plane. $110 on train. $5 per drink on plane. $15 per case on train. Plane 1 hour flight. Train 9 hour excursion. Hmmmmm.
I just looked at a girl and was like what disease does she have? And then my mind caught up ohhh shes pregnant.
Always wear a seatbelt when giving road head. I think I'm just going to tell people I don't remember how I got the fat lip.
It's disgusting. He breathes through his mouth and just sounds fat. Plus he chews all loud and shit.
strip vodka pong is never a good idea. I saw into his colon when he picked up the ball off the floor
You helped blow my nose... Ok it's safe to say we are on a new level of relationship..
Fun times on public transportation. I just had a guy imply that I was racist cause I didn't want to talk to him when I was clearly reading my book and he was clearly on coke.
I would like to formally reclaim my title of a turn up queen.
Legit sprained my cooter. No joke. Icing her down as we speak.
Never joke about your clitoris.
Randomize
