Do u think she knows her nickname is the oompa loompa
dude your girlfriend loves you alot..she yelled your name lastnight in bed
He came all over my face... then said "YOU HAVE BEEN ROBBED!"
What's this douchebags name?
Rob...
i didnt mean to paint the dog... it just kinda happened
Fuck him. I'll set him on fire for you. Then we'll see how good of a firefighter he is.
he came on my stomach and it was 1000 degrees in his car. i smelled awesome.
The trip involved octopus tentacles coming from the little holes in my TV's speakers. The beauty of the nonexistant symbolism had me in tears.
Mandatory 420 Adventure Time.
This is why we're friends.
I woke up to her screaming at the various pictures of nutsacks she found on her camera
Hostess is going out of business we'll never survive the apocalypse
I seriously want to say to him "Do you know how many blow jobs you could have gotten this summer?"
Woke up to I'm AWESOME written in purple crayon all over my walls. I love drunk me
That’s talent right there. Maverick and Goose type shit.
I swam, I rode a bicycle, I rode a horse, I danced. It was like a real life tampon advert.
Btw I puked in your glovebox
Randomize
