u cheatin on me?
if i did i would try to upgrade babe.
wanna go halves on a baby?
My cardio has turned into running out of the cold from bar to bar.
We're going to play a drinking game. It's called "Senior Year of College."
The guy I fucked last night is well worth up the ass tuition. I just wish I could tell dad thanks!
I gotta figure out which 7 tampons in the box contains the drugs
Dude you were tripping so badly we put a pretend box around your head and you spoke silently for the rest of the night. I think pterodactyls were involved.
Lmfao I'm not trying to have a pissing contest over acid with my mom.....
There are more dirty dishes in my bed then in the kitchen. Have I lost at life?
So while you were living in this woman's apartment, you acquired a room mate, fucked her daughter, and killed her bunny. Worst sitter ever
I was sleeping pretty good until your cat pooped loudly. I dreamed that a full grown man was pooping on my ear. It startled me.
If I spent my amateur stripper money does that mean I am cleansed of my sins?
you must be at least a level 5 friend to unlock my sexual orientation
Last night you were prentending to be a broom stick...you were laying on the floor and humming the Harry potter song.
Just got high with dad
Correction: more high. He's sharing gummy bears with me.
Randomize
