I realize now. I should have just made out with everyone and anyone when I had the chance.
Dude, I just scraped frozen vomit from my rooftop
I really wish I could say this is a new low for you
I just kept pointing at random people and telling the bartender to put it on their tab.
As shirtless as possible
Just got done fucking the squirter chick. She came when we were in a 69. I now know what it's like to be water boarded.
hes supposed to be my fuck buddy. im not supposed to see him on his knees praying by my bed when i walk into my room.
she said i was like a little lamb and she felt bad for luring me into her den of sin. then she blew me.
Being a virgin isn't supposed to be this easy for you.
Walked into my campus store carrying a pitcher of sangria. No fucks given. Also this recipe is banging.
I found him stumbling up to our building with a solo cup under his arm. . . He told me it was his favourite thing ever. He also told me hes never been drunk before.
We were coming but I found wine on my way out the door.
I walked by the two of them and mouthed "fuck me" based on there reaction I think they just came in their pants
You made me drive your car so you could give the dude from the parking lot a BJ in the back seat. Classy.
His exact words were "Can I meet your vagina?" I kept wondering if he was going to try to shake hands with it...
Lets get drunk and then you just wraps me into a present because that sounds like fun after the past 3 glasses of wine I drank
CURRENTLY PLAYING FLIP CUP WITH A WORLD SERIES CHAMPION
Randomize
