Woke up this morning at my parent's house. No idea how I got here... what happened last night? Was it bad?
We using my standards or yours?
so we were pounding it out and someone knocked on the wall and was shouting at us
that didnt stop you
nope
I need to get my pants from under your porch. People are asking questions.
It's because you were crossfaded. And because drinks were 3 dollars. And because they accepted credit cards.
Like some sort of pot growing robin hood.
I will take a blow job from a dude that kinda looks like a girl at this point
The cops busted down the door and everyone ran. I was just trying to find my shirt before I got arrested
Boats looked like robot pelicans and time was slow and now im on wipe out
You should photoshop their heads on tigers first!!
For my parents' annivery card? How high are you?
The only thing he had going for him was mad fingering skills. the ONLY thing. crayons have a wider circumference.
Bar selfie Saturday turned into bar nudie Saturday in a hurry. I need to delete my snapchat...
The bathroom smells like ribs. What did you do?
.It's like gods test of willpower against vaginal comfort
Also, two points for knowing me well enough to know I definitely would put the moves on his brother.
She pooped on me during a reverse cowgirl. And it wasn't a little bit either.
Randomize
