there are some really hot girls on the bus. i want to lips them
And hes hitting me with his balls, really hard.
Googled "can you put dry ice in your drink?" I'm safee
our drinking schedule never changed, we just drank at work.
One of my friends found 6 bags of gummy bears on the roof. He lives a building over. Apparently even hammered you still have quite an arm
They should try giving mcdonalds to cancer patients because it just cured the worst hangover ive ever had
"Shots" of grape juice. I fucking hate Utah soooo fucking much.
I'll just put on a bunch of mascara and cry right before I get there. Then everyone will recognize me.
I just did a walk of shame on my own block. one of the old neighbors saw and greeted me "good morning, girl next door"
Have you ever been up at one in the morning and thought to yourself, "I do not know nearly enough about penguin reproduction"?
My fucking earlobe is bruised what the hell
I'm looking for whatever I can find, and afford without having to eat my emotional support cat
Don't be hating on my everclear. Never taken a smoother journey into intoxication.
All I'm saying is Europe has not been easy on my vagina.
I like how I can go from sucking dick in the my basement to singing along to veggie tales with my family in a span of 10 minutes.
Randomize
