i found a dude playing guitar on the portapotty
laying in bed listening to christian music, jealous of the hope they have for their life. also need to beat off, can i think about you?
I don't know how I got that girl last night. I feel like seal right now sans the scars
i need gas-x and some way to take back every single thing i did last night.
she's bipolar. she literally has TWO facebook pages. one for each personality. this. bitch. is. crazy.
he aplogized for the shitty sex and called me "ma'am" when he did it. And he wants redemption sex. Gah I love southern gentlemen.
Don't let her tell you any different. She licked the balls of my hamster for that $100. It was a group bet. She won.
I haven't seen him since I gave him a hand job in the hospital. I like to think I contributed to his speedy recovery.
We should install the 'help i've fallen and can't get up' buttons on our bodies for this weekend. Birthday weekend calls for extra measures.
Pain in my heart, regret in my vagina
It's getting harder and harder to fake orgasms as I get older.
I decided taking Molly and seeing Birdman seemed like a wise life choice.
He just didn't want his drunk dick pulled out of his windbreaker at the family party
Interesting, I was always told to run away from crazy, but you seem to think we should run towards them dick first.
we were clicking our heels together saying theres no place like home, while the cops were tellin us to call our parents and tell them what happened.
Randomize
