elementary school lunch room party. everyone brings their own lunch and can trade stuff. all juice is booze.
Was just shown the photos from a professional photoshoot my aunt had for their dog...not drunk enough for this...
Come downstairs. Moms serving wine for breakfast again.
She was drinking straight whiskey out of her peacock shaped vase again.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She's never allowed to turn 21 again
I can't help but be optimistic. I'm like a ball of slutty sunshine.
Right now I can't do anything that will ban me from donating plasma. That is a legit source of income for me.
Bro, there is a rent-a-cop selling syringes out of the trunk of his car. This is why I hate the DMV.
I can't believe I've come to a point in my life where sex for a birthday present is acceptable
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Ya I know. She's self aware though, like the terminator. Which is the best kind of crazy
You BETTER NOT STEAL MY MOTHERFUCKING SQUIRREL
Literally just one second of unclenched butt hole away from shitting my pants.
Omg there's puke under my pillow. Clearly I puked and tried to hide it. From myself. \n
It's a shame I've been hooking up with him for 6 months and he still doesn't know my real name.
My New Year's resolution consists of less weekday hangovers, more sex, and more money.
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