Can you send me a picture of you not naked, my mom wants to see what you look like
I only feel half bad for cheating on him because while we were fucking I was given great relationship advice and now I'm ready to work some things out.
Halfway through he got an idea for a short story so he wrote it in magic marker on my boobs. Yeah, he's a keeper.
Dave when you find that upper decker at your house its from me but its for Jill not you
Guys always stop talking to me right around the point that if they bought me food a couple times I would probably have sex with them.
It's Friday the 13th and you just got boned by a guy named Jason....
He brought over a bottle of tequila and a box of donuts with the Plan B, so I guess you could say things are getting pretty serious.
Leave it to you to bring a trash can into a fist fight.
She made me pour olive oil on her.
Tell him that his phone is taped to the dog's stomach. Stop trying to call it because it makes him scared.
excused from jury duty. THAT hungover...
she brought her phone charger to the bar this bitch is ready to drink
ONE DAY CAN WE PLEASE HAVE SECRET SEX. PREFERABLY IN AN ANCIENT PYRAMID BUT I'M NOT OPPOSED TO A 4 STAR HOTEL
Stereotypically, lax bros last the longest, but have huge egos that are annoying. Baseball players barely last 10mins, but are really nice. And than we have soccer players, last long and have no egos. Me and my friends have collected our findings.
I've got two reasons for you to come over later and one of them is pierced.
Randomize
