i thought i was pinching her nipple. It was her mole
do you know how hard it is to sit through a 3 hour movie with someone and not fuck them?
i was getting a blow-job tonight in the mens bathroom of a bar and the bouncer comes in and says "bro i don't mean to cock block but you cant do that here."
i cant cry in cvs. not again.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Nothing good has ever or will ever come from 50 cent beers at the bowling alley..
My lab manual has instructions for making home wine. Room project?
You said that "grilled cheese was much to complex" and started to throw the buttered bread at the wall while eating all the cheese.
He stopped mid-sex to read the subtitles on a Korean movie we had playing in the background.
On a side note the mornings you do so much Xanax that you wake up totally at one with the universe and feel invincible are great
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I FINALLY HAVE A REASON TO DYE MY PUBES BLUE!!!
I'd cum for enchiladas.
Do you think accidently including this month's Credit Card statement in my application will keep me from getting into grad school?
Depends ... when did you purchase your vibrator?
Who the fuck gets injured on a merry-go-round? HOW IS IT POSSIBLE??
I have banged to "The Emperor's New Groove" way more than could possibly be reasonable.
after the ketamine those signs on the bathroom door had little meaning to us
Randomize