In similar news, my cock is bigger than the plane that landed in the hudson.
I just got a ticket for shitting on a sand dune.
You're pretty and everything..but you aren't worth the DUI
I decided that just having that story under my belt and being able to tell it to my grandchildren is worth the regrets of the evening.
how bad would it be if i made his twitter my home page?
Something about getting head on stairs. I don't know.
For your information i will be shotgunning whiskey on may 21st.
I had to convince someone last night that the fact that he couldn't get me off wasn't him it was me and to clarify I had to tell him there was only. One person that got me off every time without fail, he said "that guy is my hero" you should be proud
Kripsy Kremes at our place, bring your own coffee. And your own donuts because these ones are ours.
Go for it! You're young. Have fun. Be somebody's expensive hobby like Anastasia Steele.
Hey sorry for calling you so much last night. I mixed your number with the pizza guys, and he was running late
I just want you to know when I bang him in the back of my car later I'll have pony by ginuwine on repeat
Just because your drunk doesn't mean you can stick your dick in the snow. Just a FYI
I dropped my pants and she just stared until she asked how is that even possible? Best night ever lmao
Btw I definitely had pizza sauce on my face, a painful hickey on my neck, and I just remember screaming SISTER WIVES because of the girl's 1997 jean skirt! Wow.
Randomize
