i think the semi hot bartender might actually be a man in drag..on a similar note, what are you drinking?
She's a freak. I've got the scars to prove it.
That's science, my friend. Boner science.
I'm soaked in beer, and I think blood. Why did we think we could tap a keg with a hammer?
Although, I did get to see a Raiders fan and his toothless girlfriend get roughed up by the police and dragged out of the stadium. So the night wasn't a total loss.
just puked a little into my hand/sleeve. way too hungover for the first day of class
Remember when there was a happier time when people could all hang out together with out the awkwardness of the fact that she stole $1000 and cheated on a brother with another brother !?!??
I did the walk of shame in nothing but a sleeping bag and now I'm on my way to pick up plan B. Let's not make a habit of this.
Sounds like a good New Years
We were watching sports center while I blew him so we could see the football highlights. I missed fall
He was licking my ear while recommending that I shop at IKEA. I think he's my perfect guy.
Yes, ur purse got stole with our condo keys in it but my slut ass saved us and we had a place to stay, AND I got to choke a motherfucker while riding him. Thats taking one for the team.
he's a mother fucking interior design major!! we boned and fell asleep and now we're laying in bed discussing what color i should paint my room. i'm marrying him
I just dropped a chicken nugget on the floor and seriously prayed that it would be ok....I think this job is making me crazy.
You have to commit to sexting. You can't just quit right after I send you pictures of my asshole.
Seriously, come on.
I feel like there's a picture of my ass on the internet right now.
I hate you.
i couldn't be more explicit if i hit him upside the head with a dildo
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