what made you think it was a good idea to trust the girl that hides tequila in her backpack?
Knee deep in strippers, everything is comped. will try hard to be there at 8. i promise.
He IMed me 5 times, before my homepage even loaded. This is not gonna work out for me
just told my prof that "i dont give a fuck" about the final. nothing like a having a signed employment contract already
I want a vodka facial right about now. I'm talking about straight vodka bukkake
We're too lazy too send a pic of out balls. Just assume this is a pic of our balls and respond accordingly.
this is a reminder to untag myself in the picture of me flashing the photographer in the morning.
Bartender just fed me brownie. Its going to be a good night
I didn't notice because vodka
Would you judge me if I made John grow a bush while he is in Cancun so he doesn't cheat on me?
its 3am and I'm taking a bubble bath, this is what taking a day off work at 30 looks like
I ended up snorting coke while wearing a Bavarian dress and I feel like I need to reevaluate my life
Theres about 23 grilled cheese sandwiches stuck to my ceiling and tomato soup all over the kitchen. You are never allowed over again. Ever.
i ordered what the bartender said was called a pink cock, and kept saying it tastes like a disney princess. thats how my 21st bday went
Think he has a gf
Yea that shit doesn’t necessarily stop me
Randomize
