so he expects you to be his vegas whore for the season. nice.
I'm actually pretty neutral about a lot of things. I'm like Switzerland with a penis.
I haven't been "cry when you eat ben and jerrys" high in a while.
it's great music for shaving your balls
Doing tuck and rolls down a stair case was not my brightest idea
I was topless in his bathroom sink taking bong rips , goodmorning . He told me he could get use to this
There are two types of people in this world I don't trust: people who collect stamps, and people who don't drink
Dude I broke her toilet blowing some dude. I wasn't going to turn down the 300$ he offered to fix it.
Nothing like banging your nurse in the shower while staying in the hospital
The German just referred to my vagina as the Great Barrier Reef and that he was going to go diving in it.
So you broke your ribs while fucking? Dude you just got about 25% hotter.
I just watched my high school guidance counselor pee in the backyard of this party.
I just put a pill up my vagina. It was little like a quail egg. There is so much happening up there right now.
Give me a few. Gonna ride the rollercoaster.
Did you have a good sleep?
if a good sleep includes waking up cuddling a bottle of wine I had a GREAT sleep
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