It was kinda weird being the boss
Did you feel like Tony Danza?
Do you think there is vodka in heaven?
you let me eat a milky way from your vagina. G is not lettin you hang out for eternity
that last vodka shot was definitely the straw that broke the camels alcohol tolerance level
you were sitting on your bed looking out the window, rocking back and forth naked, saying how peaceful it looked outside
He came in like 30 seconds. That's how I know he hasn't been cheating on me while I've been gone
I woke up naked in his kitchen...His name is Mike and we're having a "what happened last night" beer.
how bad is she
captain morgan with tits
To my wonderful winter break booty calls: thank you for making this holiday season enjoyable. I look forward to seeing you boys again this summer.
Brilliant thought; pill pong.
What could go wrong?
THEY AREN'T MARRIED. PUT ON YOUR HOMEWRECKING PANTIES AND GET TO WORK. NO EXCUSES.
If the sex wasn't incredible why would I compare it to cheesy tots
There were containers of weed in the piñata. How much more Colorado does it get
Hell no. Last time I used a Slip N Slide I ended up with bruised ribs, a broken fence and the hatred of a half naked girl with a sprained wrist.
Drinking and decided to streak in the apartment fountain. Canadian goose shit and sharp rocks on the bottom. I sobered up quick. That was a very bad idea.
she was sitting on the toilet asking for me to take a "cute facebook profile picture" for her
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