so tomorrow. i'm thinking coinstar then adderall?
drunk me is my new role model. he's fearless. like not even afraid of tornadoes.
She was blacklisted from the Uhaul center...what the fuck do you have to do to get blacklisted from a Uhaul center
You seemed more interested in the queso dip than you were in the hand job
Experimentation with dessert toppings followed by shower sex. Only logical progression bro.
Nothing like puking into an empty cooler at a red light on the way to get plan b.
im that hungover where parking at red lights has to be done
No like you fell onto the fence. I don't even know how you got into the fenced in area.
If it involves mee putting on a bra and discontinuing my 11 am drinking my answer is a polite fuck YOU
as he was fingering me, all I was thinking about was how lucky his girlfriend is...
I'm wearing a utility belt filled with alcohol
I'm just now starting to feel better... I remembered sleeping on the floor. I was peeing and saw his rug and it looked so comfy
Hey when you get home, can you do me a solid and throw one of your pregnancy tests on my bed?
EPT or First Response?
Apparently I was directing traffic outside of Keeneland. Apparently I'm not a police officer. Who knew....
Dude, someone puked in my washing machine last night, I tried turning it on to clean it...not a good idea
Randomize
