Well, for starters you dressed up in all Green and kept singing that song from "A Goofy Movie". Then you made us call you Powerline for the rest of the night...needless to say no, you didn't hook up with her
Minivans at bars can only lead to bad things.
I just got a high school volleyball teams practice cancelled because I slept with the head coach through their practice time.
You guys need to get along, there is no need for a pissing contest...We're all fucking each others ex's.
I just pulled a handful of rice out of my pocket.
How do people deal with hangovers? I literally want to eat my own face.
I'll hold a taco with my boobs for you
Dont tell her I prefer to have an aura of mystique surronding me and my penis.
Alright, deal. Settling two drug deals before noon is what I call a productive day. I'm not even gonna go to math, I've practiced enough numbers for the day.
Also, I just realized you seduced me while in a batman onesie... Well done, sir. Well done.
In case you're wondering what eggs stolen from an elementary school's chicken coop taste like, delicious. Delicious is what they taste like.
I had to hypnotize my roommate last night so there's that.
I am drunk and aggressive about the olympixs
It's spelled Olympics
i still cant feel my toes or walk straight...its been 2 days.
Not going to make it tonight. Some cougar at the bar just told me she has dibs on my dick.
Randomize
