Haven't eaten in 11 hrs. I am gonna have so much material to talk about with anorexic girls now
Seriously, I'm delusional. Idk how these models even walk on the runway
I realized that I've made out with a different boy almost every time we've gone to mcgoreys....I don't need a boyfriend...I have that bar
he asked if he could put his cape on while he was still inside me.
The Ukrainian kid just told me that our econ professor wants to bone me. Please tell me that phrase means something different in Eastern Europe.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
at first i was worried but she assured me her frail vegan body would have no chance at conception.
She got a digital picture frame for her birthday. FINALLY - a place for me to sneak all those penis shots I've taken with my iPhone.
please hold off on going into labor, i might need you to take me to the free clinic
Woke up Christmas Eve morning with my face smelling like ballsack.. No regrets.
Called the cops on a high school party then went in after all the kids ran away and took the rest of the beer. What are you doing tonight?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You would be my first round pick for a drinking team
............HELP Ive been abducted by vodka and its poisoning my brain fat chicks are getting cute and i slept with my sisters friend who slightly resembles john kerry....,,help
I'm doing blow on my fuzzy rug
Come join me
He let me keep my Michael Jordan Bulls jersey on during sex.
Hungover playing piano at a baptism I am the PICTURE of class I feel like I should be struck by lightning
If catching your vomit in my hands while swimming in a bath tub full of it doesn't make us best friends, I don't know what will