College reaches a new low. We just carved a shot glass out of a potatoe.
She called it mighty mouse.. And from there it was down hill
My roommate was eating ketchup out of a bowl. Get me the hell out of here.
We're having the conversation about what happened last night, all we can come up with is that we came home, drank two litres of lemonade, I took one of her seizure pills and we fell asleep with sabrina the teenage witch on
turkey basters and jungle juice, is that really the whole shopping list for new year's?
Did you find any other hidden treasures in my room? Specifically weed? Or Slim Jims?
And drunk me decided to play keep away with sober me's dignity
Do me a favor. Next time I think it's a good idea to take pulls from the handle, yell "FALCON PUNCH" and uppercut me in the taint. My future liver thanks you.
They make twin pack pregnancy tests for girls like us
I look like slutty woodland creatures dress me in the morning. Everybody's got problems.
She's opening her family birthday cards at the bar. So we can pay our tab. Bitches wrote checks :(
I told him finishing at the same time would be a long-term project. Like flipping a house. A sexual house.
I mean, I Just Had Sex in 4 on her top 25 most played list. That's got to give you some indication
I someohow managed to lose my butt plug in tne midst of moving to B.C. and I am not a happy camper.
At some point i am going to say to you "i have this really bad idea! You in? " just go with it.
Randomize
