how many beers do i need before it is acceptable to sleep with sam
enough that when i make fun of you for it tomorrow you wont even remember it happening
i cant do it anymore.. every time this girl orgasms she sounds like a motorcycle
I wonder if you can snort coke upside down
I have a video (on my shattered iphone) of a random DJ at some bar giving me a birthday shoutout and texts from random numbers talking about birthday sex. My birthday is in April... Happy birthday to me?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Then you started screaming that this was the first time you did e and that you had a 4.8 gpa, that was right before you almost suffocated between that one girl's tits.
Well that's the first time I've woken up with wet jorts
I gave the naked guy in the hotel a pop tart. He stopped crying.
Running across campus through Hurricane Sandy while hammered and in a slutty cowgirl costume obviously should be top priority tonight
I'm wearing too many socks to be ok with this.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I got drunk and tried to make special rice krispie treats, but I made a mess and they were all stuck to my hands, so I just decided to eat my way out of the catastrophe and I think shit's about to get even weirder than usual.
It's like the dark age of my sex life being stuck here
How does it feel to date your dad?
Someone drank my pedialite!
YOU drank your pedialite. I watched you chase shots with it!
I woke up and saw that my last google search was "Bacon neck".
I have bruises everywhere an I broke the lamp. So ya I'd considerate rough sex.
Randomize