Culvers...So Good
So good. The butter burgers slip right outta my ass.
I got so high that I decided to drive with my knees on the way home. Where am I going in life?
Nowhere
there needs to be a build-a-bong store...
It tastes like I coughed up blood....hello liver damage, I've been expecting you.
dont touch anything in my room. If its phallus shaped, i can almost guarantee its been in my vagina.
I'm just gonna be the bigger person here and say I want you inside me
Remeber when I drunkenly made out with him this summer while he was getting bitched at by his girlfriend on the phone? Yeah, neither do I. But I'm pretty sure that same thing happened again last night.
Pretty sure I asked the person at the pharmacy counter in Walgreens to marry me last night. But also remember Rachel Maddow crawling through the TV screen, so my memory might be a bit compromised...
I'm wearing green eyeshadow so even if I end up totally naked I still won't get pinched.
Dude are you being arrested? I swear I just saw you laying on the hood of your car with a cop patting you down...
My neighbor came out@4am in a pink nite gown n clotheslined a punk on a mo-ped w/her mop handle, then just walked back in her house like she just checked the mail. MILF 1 PUNK 0
She just kept roaring and saying Katy Perry had nothing on her. Wtf did she take?
He found out about your side hoe and still helped you try to find a lizard that got in the house
If I knew the person sucking my dick didn't say thank you for their Christmas presents I wouldn't be able to cum.
i had sex with a girl named after a fruit last night and it was the best thing to happen to me in 2020
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