it was 5AM and you were field goal kicking solo cups into the sink
Im watching someone hooking up in the library
procrastination at its finest
ok watching intervention on tv. when i hit rock bottom - i wanna be THIS chick.
I think I've officially made out with the entire starbucks staff.
Gonna send a picture of my negative pregnancy test with the message "Merry Christmas" to the guys I've been sleeping with. That alone, will put a huge dent in my shopping list of gifts for people.
I was the king of the handle race. My team finished it in 56 minutes.
you don't get it. Nobody wins a handle race. there just degrees of losing.
I was more obsessed with the sweat stain on her back that was simultaneously shaped like a vagina and the virgin Mary.
I'm not entirely sure how getting 'house drunk' turned into us getting trashed, being serenaded by karaoke and going out. But it needs to happen again.
So the " I'm gay but curious" thing worked. You owe me 50 bucks.
I AM VODKA MAN
but seriously, if you see a redhead running down the street tonight in a carrot costume, call 911. He's tripping hard.
So I crawled off the trampoline to puke in the neighbors yard. Wonderful house guest right here
I threw up all of my purple drank and thats really important
found a note from drunk me saying "don't worry i fed the mice". WHAT MICE?
Went to the party dressed like a Cougar and brought a twenty something dressed as Micheal Phelps home. So far I’m loving being divorced. :-)
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