my last 3 google searches were anal itchy vagina and ice cubes
Ok Ghana you win again. Tell you what...Double or nothing over women's tennis, basketball, hockey, war, baseball, golf, swimming, diving, oil spills, box office proceeds, internet porn sites, criminals incarcerated, women's downhill, bass fishing, NASCAR, or GDP?
It's like I paid NJ Transit $33 to suck his dick and go home. Fuck that.
i woke up in his bed to a "teach your baby to read" infomercial. i pray to GOD that's not a sign
Its that time of year where we just drink more instead of dressing warmer
do you really not remember him getting up at like 4am with a leaf blower running through the house and telling people to "WAKE THE FUCK UPPP"
drunk enough to drink jager bombs out of a bowl on the kitchen floor.
I definitely paid for a case and a fifth and all I got was 6 beers and a crown and coke. Wtf. Bar math sucks
I understand, but unless there is an intervention for me being planned, i DON NOT want to talk about my life choices
He told me I'm a small core of pure evil wrapped up in sweetness, gold, and puppies. He gets me.
That is beautiful
Hey, do you know the person who woke me up last night at 1 in the morning yelling and being carried through the courtyard?
That was me Mom...
And when were you going to tell me to stop dancing on his coffee table singing "come on irene?"
Also I found $40 in the women's bathroom at ihop. Karma is finally kicking in!
That ass isn’t going to eat itself.
His dog hid my thong. Let me tell you, the last thing you want during a commando mini skirt walk of shame is lots of wind. There’s a church congregation that knows all my business
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